Wonderland
by Olethros
Summary: Past and present converge as Dr. Lecter reflects on his new life as a father


Wonderland  
  
  
Disclaimer: All characters except Caroline belong to Thomas Harris. All lyrics belong to Angie Aparo and his record company.  
  
A/N: The lyrics for the song come from Angie Aparo's "Wonderland". If you have never heard of him, I highly suggest you listen to some of his songs, especially this one. He has the most gorgeous voice I have ever heard.  
  
  
Setting: After Hannibal, the book  
  
  
  
The only sources of light in the bedroom were the two pinpoints of maroon from the figure reclining silently in the chair. Sitting absolutely still, Hannibal Lecter watched his daughter's little nightshirt rise and fall with her breathing. The face of Winnie-the-Pooh smiling and frowning at regular intervals. She loved Pooh Bear. Hannibal wasn't sure how long he had been sitting in his chair. The paperback copy of "Winnie-the-Pooh and the Blustery Day" rested lightly in his lap.  
  
Take a piece of the sky. Make it rain cherry wine. Give her love, give her life. Give her mine.   
  
When Hannibal first discovered that Clarice was pregnant, he was overjoyed to say the least. Ever since they had found each other, he had never thought of his life to be incomplete, but now the thought that still another part of them would enter their lives was almost too much to believe. He had treated Clarice to a massive shopping spree for the nursery that both had enjoyed immensely. He remembered her laughing as he struggled to set up the crib bed. Laughing also at his reaction after learning just how many diapers a baby went through per day.  
  
She's a child young and willing.   
  
Caroline had been born just over five years ago and their entire world had turned upside-down. She was no less than a little ball of pure energy, and her parents had their hands full keeping up with her. The silent mansion now rang with the sounds of young laughter.  
  
Hannibal had surprised both of them by taking most of her care upon his shoulders. When she cried during the night, it was usually Hannibal who was beside her bed, checking her temperature, offering her a bottle, or gently singing her back to sleep. And it was he who had read her the bedtime story that had lulled her to sleep tonight. Caroline's turned you into a big baby, Clarice regularly teased him. She often caught him rocking her in his arms, unshed joy in his eyes.  
  
Every tear you cry is a tear that I will bleed...   
  
Caroline had her mother's complexion and would easily pass for her twin later in life, but there was no doubt that she was Daddy's girl. She had inherited Hannibal's polydactyly as well as his inquisitive nature. Her first word was, "Why?"  
  
A world unforgiving, that in time takes all the living from your soul.   
  
As Hannibal watched his little girl sleep, he realized again how much of his life lay in that sleeping miracle. He never expected to settle down. He was happy with his freedom, his ambitions, his disregard for ethical restraints. But with that came his constant risk of capture, the immediate bristling at the mention of his name, and the loneliness, oh the loneliness. Permanent isolation from any true human contact, buying hotel rooms for one, opera tickets for one, Château d'Yquem for one. He never complained and always accepted that his independence was worth this immense price. Always denying how these things ate a slow and steady hole through him.  
  
Clarice had suffered like him. Isolation in the bureau; intelligent, outspoken and resented for it. And by their sweat, blood, and unshed tears, they created this miracle, pulsating with the rhythm of life and love.  
  
His eyes snapped to attention at the slight movement as Caroline pulled the sky-blue coverlet tighter around her body. She sucked the thumb of one hand, her six-fingered left hand grasping a fuzzy brown teddy bear. Its name, of course, was Pooh.   
  
I stand in the night with a silver sword, killing her demons, beating 'em off her door.   
  
He had traveled the world to enjoy the luxuries of life, and now he knew that the greatest treasure was sleeping right in front of him. And he promised himself something then.  
  
She would have the life that he never had, the life that had been stripped away forever the moment the axe had fallen on Mischa's neck.  
  
Sleep baby don't you cry. Daddy's got a worn-out lullaby...   
  
Caroline fussed slightly in her sleep, whimpering from a bad dream, and Pooh slipped from her grasp. In one fluid movement, Hannibal retrieved Pooh from the ground and replaced him in her arms. He hummed the Goldberg Variations softly and stroked Caroline's apple cheeks as she hugged the bear even tighter to herself. The melody once used for heinous crimes now comforted a little girl's nightmare. And as Hannibal saw his daughter calm immediately, his pulse quickened.  
  
"I love you, Daddy," she whispered in her sleep.  
  
"I love you too, darling."  
  
And he knew that he would do it all over again. The isolation, the confinement, the life as fugitive, all of it. In a heartbeat. For her.  
  
I'd live forever, dark and damned, to see you spend one minute, girl, in Wonderland.   
  
Hannibal tensed the tiniest fraction of an inch as he felt a hand on his shoulder and sensed Clarice's presence behind him. He reached up and took her hand in his.  
  
"She's so beautiful, Clarice."  
  
Clarice laughed, softly, so as not to awaken their daughter. "So you've said every single night for the past five years. Let her sleep, you big baby. Come to bed."  
  
Hannibal smiled and rose from his chair. He bent swiftly to Caroline and planted a kiss on her forehead before allowing Clarice to take him by the waist. They left the room and shut the door silently.  
  
And I'd live forever  
  
Dark and damned  
  
To see you spend one minute, girl  
  
In Wonderland.  
  
FIN 


End file.
